Dear Conrad -- Firstly thanks for having such a wonderful site, which has given me a lot of insight into a lot of things. What I would like is advice or an opinion on a problem I have. I've been a Christian for a long time, yet my parents don't have anything to do with religion. I feel out of place, because I feel that if I told them that I was a Christian that they would probably make fun of me, and I would feel as though I was dishonoring them. It hasn't worried me greatly, it’s just that lately I want to go to a bible study but don't know how to tell them that’s where I'm going. Any help would be much appreciated. -- Matthew

Let’s look at the passage you are talking about first.

"Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12)

Honoring our parents is important to God because God believes in authority. God has ultimate authority and has incorporated lower levels of authority through governments and parents.

“Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities.” (RO 13:1)

But at all times God is the ultimate authority. Submitting to human authority is submitting to God’s authority.

Obviously, if the human authority is telling you to do something sinful and ungodly, they are outside the bounds of their authority and we must submit to God’s authority.

For example if your parents told you to kill your neighbor and take his money – they are outside the score of their legitimate authority. Then you obviously cannot carry out their command. But if they ask you to do something non-sinful, then you should respectfully obey them.

So let’s go back to the word “Honor.” Honor means respect. In most times respect means listen and obey your parents. Respect does not necessarily mean you agree with them on everything. You can respect someone even if you don’t agree with them entirely.

So can you believe something your parents don’t believe and still respect them? Yes. This would entail not getting into heated arguments with them over your beliefs, or still obeying them even though you disagree with them theologically (assuming they are not telling you to do something sinful).

As a supplement to submitting to and honoring them - you can also be praying for them – that God will soften their heart towards your beliefs. Hopefully your honoring them will show that you are responsible and this ‘religion’ isn’t really a bad thing.