Decapolis

43. Pointing Fingers (Part IV): What To Do About Their Sin

Conrad — Tue, 15 May 2012 04:01:23 +0000

We all know the sins of our friends and family. It’s so easy to spot. They’re impatient, irrational, they barely try to please God and they listen to a whole lot of rap.

When you see someone sinning we want to make sure we first take care of our pride (Part 1), then take care of our sin (Part 2), view them with love (part 3), and finally see if we can do something to help them with their sin.

So how should we approach someone to deal with a sin that you may have to point out?

GAL 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.

I think it’s interesting that it doesn’t say, “every single one of you should restore him gently”, but “you who are spiritual”. I’ll rephrase that, “those of you who are acting in a spiritually positive way”. Or more bluntly, “those of you who aren’t going to be a total idiot”.

This verse is assuming that there is some decision making involved and it’s not an easy formula to apply.

Assume for a sec that you’re trying to point out someone’s sin. This can get ugly really fast depending on what is said, who says it, how it’s said, when it’s said, and where it’s said.

Just look at this one verse for a sec…

PR 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Wisdom is knowing how to approach it. Wisdom is knowing who, what, where, when, and how.

Who is the best person to talk to them? Is it mom, or dad?

What should you say? Pick your words.

Where and when should you say it? Maybe you need to wait till they’ve calmed down, or are in a different mood.

How should you say it? With a smile? Bluntly? With emotion?

Some situations are easier to deal with that others. Like if someone is doing something obviously wrong like stealing sugar-free candy from children – there’s not a whole ton of landmines you can step on to make them totally upset.

But what if they’re dating someone where it’s obvious that it’s not God’s will and they are in love. Things get really tricky really fast. You say one thing about the person they’re dating, emotion jumps in, then they get all defensive and it becomes about specific events and not about God’s overall will.

You really need to tread lightly if you are to restore them. It’ll take one wrong word, or the wrong tone, or the wrong time, and you’re done.

And you know what? Sometimes there is no way to get to them. Maybe they’re so stubborn that there’s no reaching them. But you don’t know that. Between praying for them and praying for wisdom, there’s always a chance. And you have to think long term. One conversation hardly changes anyone.

If it is your place, you do have to try. If you can’t restore them and you did everything you possibly could, you can’t take the responsibility of them continuing on with their sin. There’s only so much you can do.

It’s really tricky. So don’t take it lightly. Pray for wisdom so you know the who, what, where, when, and how. Pray that God will open their heart.

MT 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

Take time to pray: Pray for wisdom. Wisdom so you will know who, what, where, when and how to restore them.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit to work on: Gentleness.

42. Pointing Fingers (Part III): How do we make sure we’ve succeeded?

Conrad — Fri, 11 May 2012 04:01:38 +0000

With all this finger pointing, the first thing we talked about was pride (Part 1), then taking care of our sin (Part 2). But there’s another thing we need to see in ourselves.

Okay, so someone is being an idiot to you, or they’re sinning in some way that’s obvious to you – and you’ve gotten to the point where you can be humble (Part 1) and where you’re taking care of your sin (Part 2), but what about them? They’re still being an idiot. What now? What am I still missing?

Love.

If someone is sinning or worse yet sinning against you, you still have to see them as God sees them…

…as someone who needs some sort of help.

That hopefully should spur on compassion for them. So much so that even if they are sinning against you so much to be considered your enemies that Christ says…

Matt 5:44 Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you

So what do we do?

Think of all the people that sin against you. Are you praying for them?

Your ex? Your boss? The family member who annoys the snot out of you? That jerk at school or the office?

If you can’t have compassion and love for those who sin against you and who are going around sinning – well, what are you here for?

Are you here to only have compassion on the righteous and perfect? Cause that list is going to be really short. The list would be: me and Gandalf. And Gandalf is in Valinor, so he doesn’t even count.

If we have no love for sinners, then we might as well pack up our bags now cause we won’t be doing much of anything for the rest of our lives.

So to sum up this three parts devotional of Pointing Fingers…

Take that finger, point them to Christ (part 1), and point it at your own sins (part 2), and point it at your heart (part 3)… is there love in there? Does someone else’s sin cause you to have compassion for them? Or are you still irritated at them?

We must love those who we are pointing fingers at.

We must see them as God sees them… as a sinner that needs a better relationship with him… just like us.

That’s the largest issue and the hardest to obey.

MT 5:43 “You have heard that it was said, `Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ [44] But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, [45] that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. [46] If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? [47] And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? [48] Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Take time to Pray: Pray for a love and compassion that overcomes sins.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit to focus on: Love.

41. What Happens When We Point Fingers? (Part 2)

Conrad — Tue, 08 May 2012 04:52:44 +0000

We love pointing fingers at other people’s sins. In fact, we love doing it so much that there’s entire industries supported by it. Just look at the tabloids at the supermarket. The more sin, the greater the headlines. It’s all, “Arnold Schwarzenegger Cheats!” and not “Arnold Schwarzenegger stays faithful for third year in a row!” No one would read that. Well maybe someone would, but accidentally. Like if the magazine fell off the rack and it happened to open to that article and some M&Ms fell all over the page.

Last time we talked about how we don’t care about truth more than we care about our own pride. Humility was the key.

We need to go a step beyond that.

It’s really easy to spot other people’s sins. Really easy. I could probably watch someone for a day and have a huge list of their sins and how they should fix them with accompanying diagrams, flowcharts, 3D animation and a puppet show.

You’re probably the same way, picking apart the sins of your parents, siblings, friends, pastors, Gollum, Cobra Commander or Voldemort.

We do this while overlooking our own sins.

MT 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? [4] How can you say to your brother, `Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? [5] You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

We love looking at other people’s sins with our eyes, while those same eyes are obstructed by sin.

I hate how my parents are always impatient with me. Which means I’m being impatient with them for their impatience. How can I deal with MY impatience?

It’s totally true how Christ calls us hypocrites in these situations. Half the time we are guilty of the exact same sin we’re accusing someone else of. If not the same exact sin, many times it’s a related sin.

So what do we do?

Think about the people closest to you and think about their sins for a sec. Now, turn that same critical eye inwards.

What are your sins? What sins do you see in others that also exist in you?

Your spouse is impatient? How are you impatient?

Your boss is overbearing? How are you overbearing?

Billy is always being so selfish by taking the most doughnuts. How are you being selfish by not wanting him to get more doughnuts?

Zombies are being selfish by wanting my brains. How am I being selfish with my own brains? Okay, not the best example.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was unfaithful? How are you being unfaithful? Maybe not in an adulterous way, but unfaithful in one of the many responsibilities to your spouse?

Just like Christ said, worry about that huge piece of wood in your eye before worrying about someone else’s.

Take your finger and point it at yourself.

But just don’t pull it. That’s a different sin that we’ll talk about another time. Maybe when you’re as mature as I am.

MT 7:1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. [2] For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

MT 7:3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? [4] How can you say to your brother, `Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? [5] You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Take time to pray: Continue to ask God for humility so you can focus on your sins rather than others’ sins.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Patience. Patience with other people, so that you can look inwards.

40. What Happens When We Point Fingers? (Part 1)

Conrad — Fri, 04 May 2012 04:01:53 +0000

(“Pull my finger.”)

How many times have you heard stuff like, “Billy hit me.” “Oh yeah, well Billy hit me first.” We love doing stuff like that, pointing fingers rather than caring about the underlying issue.

We defend ourselves all the time with completely illogical or hypocritical arguments.

“You’re being mean.”

“Well, remember that one time when you were mean to me?”

…as if someone else’s past behavior makes it okay for us to sin back.

The trap we always fall into is that we compare ourselves to each other’s level of goodness. If somehow we are better in one tiny aspect out of a million aspects then we somehow win the argument.

The argument is no longer about if the point we are making is true or not, but if we gooder than the person we are arguing with. (‘Gooder’ is totally a word. If it’s not, it should be.)

This trap goes deeper than that because when we are comparing ourselves to others we no longer are caring if what we do is God’s will or not.

The line of thinking should go, “Billy hit me. What is God’s will for me now?”

“This idiot is arguing with me about some totally illogical political argument, what is God’s will for me now?”

We love ourselves. We love our egos. We love our pride.

We turn any stupid thing into a defense of our pride.

So what do we do?

What we need to do is summed up in this verse…

Phil 2[3] Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. [4] Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

We shouldn’t bring up some past time when they did something wrong – thinking ourselves better than they. We need to swallow our pride and think of their interests.

And the biggest interest we should have for them is their relationship with God.

If they did something mean to you – how can you respond to them in love? How can you minister to them?

If they are being mean to you – how can you help them to stop sinning? How can you bring them closer to God?

Don’t point fingers at them – but rather point them to Christ.

And through this they’ll get gooder and so will we.

1PE 5:5 All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” [6] Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

Eph 4[2] Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. [3] Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. [4] There is one body and one Spirit– just as you were called to one hope when you were called– [5] one Lord, one faith, one baptism; [6] one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness. Kindness to not respond in kind but to respond with God’s will in mind.

Take time to pray: Ask for forgiveness for your pride and ask for the humility needed to stay focused on His will rather than our ego.

39. Relationships: How Do We End Up Doing Satan’s Work for Him?

Conrad — Tue, 01 May 2012 04:26:08 +0000

Even though we don’t know it, half the times in life, even in our own families, we do Satan’s work for him. More than just making our family listen to the Black Eyed Peas, getting cell phone service on AT&T or changing the channel to Full House.

I’ll explain it this way… life is like a basketball game where our family is on our team and God wants us to score points for Him – and these points can be measured by the fruit of the spirit our family produces.

GAL 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [23] gentleness and self-control.

Our opponent is obviously Satan. But half the time, instead of helping our spouse, parents, kids, or siblings try to score points, we end up arguing with them on the court. Most of the time about stupid stuff like who ate the last Snickers bar or the best way to load the dishwasher or which Black Eyed Peas song induces the most nausea.

In fact, we go beyond arguing with our family on the court and actually start hindering them from scoring – we start playing defense against our own team.

For example, let’s take just one fruit of the spirit in consideration for a sec… peace. Let’s say we’re dribbling down the court to score points of peace.

What are simple, basic ways we could help create peace in our households? By returning impatience with love, by looking for ways to help, by removing stumbling blocks.

Do you think your spouse, parents, or kids are more likely or less likely to have peace if you try to correct one of their mistakes by raising your voice at them? Or by not taking care of your chores, or by arguing with your sibling?

When we create obstacles for our own family members, we play defense against them…

…and we do Satan’s job for him.

So what do we do?

How do we #1, stop doing Satan’s job for him by playing defense, and then #2, play as a team and score points for God?

To stop playing defense against them you simply have to stop tempting them to sin, like by being impatient with them. Your lack of the fruit of the spirit with them will create an environment for them to sin.

But let’s say you don’t mess with them. It’s possible to just stand there and do nothing. Just because you’re not playing defense against them, doesn’t mean that you’re on the court. You could just be sitting on the sidelines.

So how do we start playing offense with them?

First to score we need to get them near the basket, and to do that we need to remove obstacles from their path.

What if your wife always gets upset when she sees piles of dirty dishes when she gets home? Then do the dishes before the laundry. Does it really matter what order it’s done? No. It’s stupid. But it does matter if one way removes a temptation for sinning and the other way doesn’t.

That’s what I mean by removing obstacles. And half these obstacles are simple, everyday things. What you’re doing is removing a defender from her path. What are the things that your family members get upset about? (Even stupid stuff). Can you do something about it?

So when we’re done removing obstacles, we can assist them to score. How are you helping your family members grow in the fruit of the spirit?

Can you become a peacemaker in your household? When they are upset, can you show them how God might be growing them? When they complain, can you help them be thankful? When they lose faith, can you help them trust God?

Point them to God and help them bear fruit. That is ministry.

GAL 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, [23] gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. [24] Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. [25] Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

[26] Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

GAL 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.

[2] Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. [3] If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. [4] Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, [5] for each one should carry his own load.

Take time to pray: Ask God to help you to stop playing defense and help your family members grow in the fruit of the spirit in their daily lives.

38. Relationships: How Can I Persuade Others To Change?

Conrad — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 05:01:27 +0000

There’s one thing we need to remember about ourselves – not everyone agrees with us. Especially if you’re me when trying to convince my family that Spam, rice and ketchup is a perfectly good meal.

But whenever we try to convince anyone to change their mind on anything, we feel like our one conversation is somehow going to magically change the other person’s mind…

Don’t complain about school because God is using that to grow you into your vocational callings later in life.

You shouldn’t smoke because you’ll get cancer.

Don’t wear that outfit – it looks like Elton John threw up on a cow.

Persuasion is not that easy.

Why?

1. Because people are they way they are for a reason.

These reasons that have built up over the course of their lives. You’re not going to change them in one conversation.

2. We’re stupid too.

What makes us the treasure chest of all truth – that they’ll magically change because of something we’ve said? Ever notice that the people that know us most are often the people who dismiss our view the most? Just look at teenagers with their parents.

So what do we do?

We have to come up with a different approach than pounding them over the head with one conversation. The first two things I wrote about before (love and wisdom, Devo #37). But there’s a couple more things to understand.

1. Think long term (Hearts and Spiritual Maturity).

You will not change anyone’s heart and/or spiritual maturity in one conversation. Hearts and spiritual maturity are like massive ships that take forever to change directions. You have to do a little at a time.

Getting a kid or your spouse to turn complaining into thankfulness about school or work won’t happen for years. It’s tied into their spiritual maturity.

It’s not only going to take years of conversations when appropriate situations come up to talk about, but years of you setting a good example of thankfulness – and it will take their own hearts to grow it its love for God.

2. Follow Christ’s example. We sin everyday against God, but He is very patient with us over the years and decades of our lives.

So as you try to persuade others out of love, and with wisdom, just remember that you’re trying to encourage life long changes, spiritual changes, and it will take a long time. So be patient and follow God’s example with how He deals with us.

Like I don’t expect my family to appreciate spam and rice today. But I’ll work on it. A little at a time. With divine patience.

Psalm 86:15
But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Take Time to Pray: Ask God for love, wisdom and patience so you can minister and draw others closer to God.

For help with the patience part of things see: http://decapolis.com/devos/375

37. Relationships: What Do I Do When I Have To Say Something That Might Hurt?

Conrad — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 04:43:50 +0000

You ever have to face a situation where you might have to hurt someone’s feelings, but it’s something that you have to do? And I’m not talking about telling someone to shut up while you’re trying to watch a movie in a theater. That’s not right. Just ask the manager to kick them out.

I’m talking about touchy situations where a family member or friend might get offended because you might have to point out one of their faults.

So what is the difference between yelling at someone in the movies verses talking to your family member?

It’s motive. One case, you’re correcting someone out of frustration and the other one is out of love.

Your entire approach changes when you say something out of love.

But love isn’t enough. It goes a little beyond your righteous motives. The other person has to understand that you’re doing it out of love.

You might think you’re speaking out of love, but what if they interpret your words as condescending or insulting?

“Your hair is messed up.”

“Those pants make you look fat.”

“You should wear a mask.”

Some people are sensitive. Others have pride. It’s easy to step on their toes, even when your intentions are completely out of love.

So what else do you need other than love?

You need wisdom.

Wisdom is the who, what, where, when, why, and how.

Who should say something? Are you the best parent to talk to the child. Should you get someone else to approach them?

What should you say? Should you share a time where you made the same mistake?

Where should you say it? In private or right as it’s happening?

When should you say it? Should you wait till they calm down? How long do you let it go before you say something?

Why are you saying something? Out of love we hope.

How should you approach them? Should you be stern, open up with a joke, or be soft spoken?

It’s tough. There’s so many different ways something like this can be handled.

So what do we do?

When you have to face a delicate situation where something needs to be said – pray for three things:

a loving spirit
wisdom (who, what, where, when, why, how)
and that God would work in their heart.

It’s no guarantee that things will work out, but hopefully you’ve done what you think God wanted you to do in the proper manner.

And then maybe they won’t get so offended when you hand them a mask.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2

Take Time To Pray: Ask God to help you with love and wisdom.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Love

36. Relationships: When a Relationship Ends. What do I do, or what can I tell someone who’s going through it?

Conrad — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 04:43:09 +0000

One of the worst things to happen in a relationship is when it comes to an end. Either that or when your wife ask you to go along to go to shopping for clothes. Not sure which one is worse. In one case you want to cry yourself to sleep. In the other case you want to stab yourself with forks.

Now this devotional most commonly will refer to a romantic relationship that ends, but can apply to all sorts of other situations where a relationship ends or drastically changes for the worse.

There’s a huge amount of things you have to deal with emotionally – but we always have to remember that dealing with your emotions starts with dealing with it spiritually. How can you come to grips emotionally when you don’t know why it happened?

There are three things to understand.

The first thing you have to understand is that God is sovereign.

He is in control. He allowed it to happen for a reason. And that reason is good.

RO 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

You won’t truly know the reasons why it happened till maybe years down the road, maybe never. But that promise is still there. And you’d think that the God who created this universe can do something as simple as make a break up, divorce, or whatever, turn out for good.

Christ went through torture, humiliation, crucifixion and death. I’m pretty sure He understands going through something bad for a reason that is good. I’ve been through a lot of terrible things in life, including being forced into going into a Banana Republic, but I don’t recall being crucified and dying.

The second thing is that we also have to understand that a relationship with a person is not what brings us ultimate happiness.

True happiness obviously comes from our relationship with God. He created our souls to find its complete happiness and peace in a relationship with Him. It’s in our design.

The happiness we find in a human relationship should be added blessings to the 100% happiness and peace that we should be already finding in God.

The third thing is that God is always growing us, including through a breakup.

Is God trying to grow your trust in him? Your patience? Your understanding of him? Your understanding of yourself? How will this make you a stronger person now and down the road?

So what do we do?

All three things we need to know (God is sovereign, the relationship with God is what makes us happy, and that God is always growing us) can only come when…

We humble ourselves and submit to him – to his wisdom, to his sovereignty and to his love.

I know things suck when a relationship ends, however there’s another relationship that is greater that you still have. Your relationship with the one who created you and was crucified for you.

Hebrews 13:5 “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

JAS 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, [3] because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. [4] Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Take Time To Pray: Ask God to help you to analyze yourself for areas of your life you need to work on so that your relationships with other and Him will improve.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Faithfulness.

35. Relationships: What Do I Do When Things Aren’t Going Well?

Conrad — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 04:42:07 +0000

Have you ever gotten so sick of someone close to you that you just wanted to scream? Now I’m not talking about getting sick of your proctologist. I’m talking someone close in a different way, in a relationship way.

We see siblings who never talk to each other, kids who won’t talk to their parents and, of course, strife in marriages.

And what’s the source of that?

First off it starts with the people that we have relationships with are sinful. They are selfish, prideful, lazy, only think of themselves, and endlessly watch the Home and Garden Network.

But the thing that completes this is that (sorry to break this to you), but we are sinful as well – making the situation worse.

Instead of helping someone trying to deal with their selfishness, we get mad at them. Instead of trying to minister to them about their laziness, we yell at them. Instead of trying to show grace to their crazy views on theology, politics or philosophy, we get into arguments with them.

They get mad and we get mad in return, making them more mad, making us more mad. It’s a spiral of death.

But Christ has set a different example. We sin against God every day. Every hour. And probably ever minute. We spit in His face anytime we sin.

But God, instead of responding as we do, displays different attributes… faithfulness, patience, forgiveness, grace and mercy.

When we’re really upset at a loved one, a lot of times it’s because we’ve had a long history of being impatient, ungracious and unforgiving.

How would you know if you’re not like that?

When someone talks about you, do they say, “Boy, they are just so faithful, gracious, merciful and forgiving?” Is that your reputation around your family, town and church?

So what do we do?

It’s sounds simple, but we have to model our lives after Christ. Namely the part where he forgave those who wronged him.

The answer is simple, but man, is it hard to actually put into practice.

Treat those who sin against you in the same way God treats you and your sins – with an unconditional love and forgiveness.

MT 18:21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” MT 18:22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Flip the spiral of death upside down. Show love in return.

If they are mean to you, instead of getting upset, try to minister to them in return. This will cause them to be mean less, which lowers the chance that you’ll return sin against them, which allows you to minister more, which causes them to be less mean and eventually you could be treating each other in a Christ-like way.

It might take a while, but it’ll be worth it.

Prov 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

MT 18:21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”

MT 18:22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Take Time To Pray: Ask God you help you to become a person who displays faithfulness, love and grace.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Faithfulness.

34. Relationships: How Should I See Myself in Relation to Others?

Conrad — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 04:41:27 +0000

This series has been on relationships because a lot of times we overlook the people closest to us. Kinda like how I just spent time going to store to buy bacon just to find out I had some in my pocket the whole time.

Previously I talked about we’re supposed to help others manage their roles and callings. This goes double if you’re in some sort of authority over them, say like in a family setting.

But here’s the thing with that. Being a leader or manager isn’t like being the king where you sit on your throne and hand out orders. You there, start having discipline with your homework. You there, read your Bible everyday. You there, learn patience by watching the Star Wars prequels.

That’s how the world looks at leadership.

The world sees leadership like a triangle, with the leader on top, and everyone underneath. And on a relationship level, that’s maybe how we might see the dad of a family.

But is that triangle model really how God wants things? What does Christ have to say about leadership?

This passage here is right after Christ had finished washing the disciples’ feet.

JN 13: [14] Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. [15] I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. [16] I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.

This is pretty much also said here…

LK 9: [48] For he who is least among you all–he is the greatest.”

What Christ is talking about is a concept of Servant-Leadership. And that’s how we need to see ourselves in our relationships.

So what do we do?

We need to take that triangle model and flip it upside down. Where we are on the bottom tip, and the people we are have relationships are above us.

Christ is essentially saying, the greatest among you have more people above them in the upside down triangle.

Don’t think of yourself as the one throwing a leash around others’ necks and dragging them down the road closer to Christ…

…but rather think of yourself as the servant, who on the road, must move obstacles out of the way, give the person water, give them encouragement when they get tired, and help navigate.

So today, stop and think about how can you influence your spouse, kids, family, friends through servanthood.

And just to be clear, servanthood does not include being asked to kill a spider for your wife when you’re in the middle of playing a game of Sudoku on your phone, while there are two totally capable teenagers laying around texting who could have just as easily gotten up and got a piece of tissue paper to smush that thing.

JN 13:12 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. [13] “You call me `Teacher’ and `Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. [14] Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. [15] I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. [16] I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. [17] Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

Take Time To Pray: Ask God to help you understand how to be a servant and be influential at the same time.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Gentleness.