Growing is really hard.  It’s something we all want to do, but without a strategy it’s like trying to win a game without understanding your team or the other team.  Or asking out a girl on a date without figuring out what you’re going to say, or why girls are insane.

We’re like a football team who is strong against certain opponents, and not others.  And we can’t just expect to get better from game to game without a strategy.

To grow, we need to overcome failure, and to do that we need to consider three things:

1. Who do we fail against?
2. Why do we fail?
3. How do we prevent failure?

If you’re like me, your losing list is quite extensive.  Actually, It’s more of a database than a list.

So start with the losses that hurt the most – start with the people closest to you – your spouse and family.  In what situations do you get upset with your spouse or family?  Or what elements cause these difficulties?

For example, let’s say you lose your patience with your kids because they don’t do their chores.  We’ve identified the ‘who’ and the ‘why’, now we have to come up with ‘how’.

And there’s two parts for the ‘How to prevent failure’:

1. Fix the situation
2. Fix your heart

Fix the situation – If you can come up with a strategy so that your kids will start doing their chores, that will lower the frequency of the situation, thus lowering the chances that you’ll sin in response.  Is there a better system for reminding them?  Do you need to use a reward system?  Do you need to alter the punishments?  Ask for wisdom (James 1:5).

Fix your heart – Prepare your heart beforehand to be patient with them in these situations just as a team practices a certain type of defense so they are prepared during the game.  When your kids disobey, have your response prepared.  How can you show love and patience with discipline?  Again, ask for wisdom.

Now, think of situations specific to you.  Why do you get into arguments with your spouse or family?  Do certain situations cause it?  Are there certain topics?  Do they have certain weaknesses that cause bad situations?  What are your weaknesses that help cause these situations?

Keep asking questions.  Analyze, analyze, analyze.  Why, why, why?

Then think of, ‘How can you respond?’  Prepare, prepare, prepare.  How, how, how?

And don’t expect to get it right the first time.  Don’t expect to get it right all the time.  Situations always change.  A team you beat last week can beat you the next.

So be patient.

And always adapt.

When we come up with a strategy to combat failure, we can start to grow.

Philippians 1:9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, [10] so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, [11] filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ–to the glory and praise of God.

Take Time To Pray: Ask God for wisdom so that you can identify your losses and how to fix them.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Faithfulness.

There’s one amazing common resource that God has blessed us all with.  And no, I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not me.

When considering what our callings are, in previous devotionals, I’ve mentioned this formula:

Gifts + Talents + Resources = One of our callings

As a quick example, if God wanted you to be a pastor, He would have given you gifts like teaching and preaching, talents of public speaking, and resources of things like a seminary education.

If God has called you to be a nurse then He’ll give you the gift of encouragement, a talent of fine motor skills and resources like college and a strong stomach.

We all have a few different callings to juggle at once and there is actually one resource that not only do all these callings have in common, but there is a resource that we all share – and that is time.

And that 24 hours a day is split between all of our callings.

For example my callings are: job, dad, husband, Decapolis and swimsuit model.

You have your set of callings as well, though they probably aren’t quite as awesome as mine.  And in those callings you have to take those limited hours a day and prioritize your time so that you can give enough attention to each calling.

Now I know what you’re thinking.  Yeah yeah Conrad, I shouldn’t be lazy, I get it. But there’s more to it than that.

There’s a few different ways to misuse time.

1. Do nothing.  This of course is laziness.  God has given you a few different callings, but you choose to disobey by getting excess sleep or watching countless hours of Full House.
2. Actively using your time for sin.  Now you can be an early riser and be a busy person, but that doesn’t mean you are spending your time in obedience to God.  You could be using your time to deal drugs, kill puppies or watch countless hours of Full House.
3. Actively using your time for self.  Really this is falls under #2, but this includes things we don’t consider an outright sin.  Playing video games, reading up on politics, being on Facebook aren’t sins – but when you value your time on those more than your callings, therein lies the sin.  (And yes, watching Full House is considered a sin.
   
   And the main one I wanted to talk about because it’s a little more hidden…
   
   
4. Mismanagement of God Given Callings.  Now you could be spending all your time doing what’s “right”, devoted to your callings, but that doesn’t mean you’re doing it right.   What if you are so focused on your calling as a pastor that you but you are barely at home with your family?

God has given all the blessing of life.  We weren’t created so we could please ourselves, but to please God who is hopefully the one we love and the one we want to live for.

So first figure out what your callings are.  See where you might be wasting time, using time sinfully or selfishly, or where your are devoting to little or too much time to.

Then your can manage your time well so you can live a life glorifying to God.

Then and only then can you feel right about taking a well deserved break to watch the Full House episode where Michelle falls off that horse and loses her memory.  I’ve never seen it, but the sinners I know tell me that it was quite dramatic.

PR 6:9-11 How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest– and poverty will come on you like a bandit  and scarcity like an armed man.

Col 4:5 Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.

Eph 5:15-16 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

Take Time To Pray: Ask for wisdom to know your callings and how best to manage them so you can live a life in obedience to God.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Faithfulness.

Some things are so hidden that you only find out about them when you are looking at something else.  Like eating a cheeseburger to find out you don’t like pickles, or watching TV and finding you don’t like car insurance commercials, or watching Jersey Shore and finding out you no longer want to live.

It can happen with idols as well.

On one hand you have the obvious idols like money, power and fame.  But then there are less noticeable idols that you only see when you are looking at something else.

I call these Reverse Idols.

What are Reverse Idols you say?  Well, I’m glad you asked that.  So now I’ll tell you.

Here’s an example.  I would be happy if I didn’t have to go to work.

Obviously your job isn’t the idol, but what is the reverse of how you feel about your job?  You think your happiness will be found in the not going to work.

Now I’m not talking about where your job is a drug dealer, human trafficker or building contractor.  I’m talking about legitimate jobs… a job God wants you to be in.

So in this case you think you’ll be happier by not going to work and can find happiness in recreation or doing nothing (a dream we all share).  That can be an idol too – sitting around spending time for self.  Self can also be an idol.

Now you might come up with a series of objections: Well my job isn’t an idol, so I shouldn’t trying to find happiness in it.  Are you saying that we can’t spend time in recreation?

The answer to both of these questions is found within the entire issue of idols.  Idols are things that are worshipped.  Worship is the key.

Can you worship God at your job?  Yes.  If God has given you that job, your obedience to Him in your job IS worship.  Because of your obedience, you are worshipping God, not your job.

But if you don’t want to obey God, but would rather stay home to watch Oprah – then your idol is you.  And maybe Oprah.  But mainly you.

You worship God through obedience.

So what are other examples of Reverse Idols?

Just think of all the things God wants you to do but where you would rather not be doing them.  Studying for an exam, teaching and disciplining your kids, watching your diet, exercising, studying His word, spending time with family, keeping track of finances – lots of everyday stuff that we really don’t want to do.

But you can worship God in all those things through obedience.  Your worship of God becomes the driving force behind all the stuff you’re supposed to do but would rather not do.

Now something you saw as mundane or tedious becomes grander in scale because it’s about the worship of God.

Except for watching Oprah.  You almost can’t help but worship God when you watch her show or her cable channel.  Sometimes instead of going to church I’ll just turn her channel on.

RO 12:1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.

Take Time To Pray: Ask for wisdom to find out the things that you don’t particularly like obeying so that you can make these chores about worship rather than the chore.

I had a good question posed about my ‘How Do I Live By Faith?’ devotional series and I thought it’d be good to answer it as a devotional.  It has to do with a Big Mac.

“I’m confused about how you define decisions not explicitly based on Scripture as sin. Are you saying God’s Word will tell you whether or not to eat the Big Mac, which shirt to pick out at the store, or how to organize the paperwork in your office? Did you ask God about which pair of underwear to put on today? Or, am I misunderstanding what you wrote?”

Good question.  Let’s start off with some verses so it can give us some direction where we need to go with our answer.

Romans 14:23 Everything that does not come from faith is sin.

2 Timothy 3[16] All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, [17] so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

So these two verses combined ultimately say we need to make decisions by faith, and that Bible covers all the bases in life so there is some biblical principle that covers whatever decisions we have to make.

The thing is… the small decisions we make are actually part of some larger decision.

For example the question about buying a Big Mac.  One bigger question is “does God want me to eat something with 540 calories and 45% of the recommended daily fat intake?”

Well maybe it’ll be fine if you live a healthy lifestyle and you’re keeping track of your calories and fat for that day, and you’re eating well the rest of the day.  But what if you’re morbidly obese and you had just finished off a Triple Baconator with its 1330 calories and 190% of daily saturated fat?

We’d look to a verse like 1 Cor 6:[19] for that.  (“Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit”)

And that’s just one of the questions we can ask about the Big Mac.  There’s also the question of should we spend our money on a Big Mac?  Let’s say you’re dirt poor and you have $5 left to feed you and your family.  Should you buy one Big Mac instead of maybe buying a loaf of bread, peanut butter and milk?

Each decision we make has something to do with expending the resources God has given us – money, time, our body, our mind, etc.  We have to use wisdom (James 1:5) on where we’re supposed to expend those resources.  Using wisdom is also a Biblical principle.

Now in regards to what underwear I should wear, the larger questions actually have been asked and answered.  I’ve already lived by faith by not wasting His money on $100 boxers, but instead I bought the dachshund print boxers that were on sale for $2.99 at Banana Republic.  In fact I bought two.  (That’s totally true).

Some of the everyday decisions we make, we’ve made obvious faithful decisions – we just didn’t define it as ‘living by faith’ because the wise/godly thing to do was so obvious.

I would still be living by faith if I wore either my dachshund boxes or my monkey boxers to church.  The larger question is should I get dressed for church?  The even larger question was should I go to church today?  Well yes, I need to go to church and in order to go to church I need to wear pants and hopefully underwear.

We just need to know that our mundane decisions are a part of larger decision.  And then that larger comprehensive decision is where we can find Biblical principles and therefore try to live by faith.

And now I’m off to order a Baconator.  And of course not a triple Baconator, just a normal Baconator, because I obviously need to make wise, faithful decisions.

Col 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

Take Time To Pray: Ask God to help you be conscious of the decisions you make so they can be pleasing to the Lord.

With faith, when you miss the middle part, you pretty much feel empty.  Kind of like missing the hamburger between two buns, or the pages between the table of contents and index, or a watchable movie between Phantom Menace’s opening crawl and credits.

If faith is: Knowing God’s Word + Believing God’s Word + Applying God’s Word…

Then missing the middle “Believing God’s Word”, would leave you with doing something you’re told, but either not understanding why or caring why.

This is legalism.

Legalism starts at a young age.  How many times do we see a parent tell their kid to say they’re sorry, and the kid begrudgingly complies with a grumpy, “I’m sorry.”  He doesn’t mean it.

It’s the same with our faith when we know what God’s Word tells us to do and we do it, but we don’t really believe in it, or our heart is not in it.  We’re like that little kid who doesn’t really mean it.

Now, when we think of legalists we typically think of the Pharisees in the Bible.  In modern times we think of Christians who listen to crappy music and only watch Kirk Cameron movies.

But we live legalistic lives all the time.

How many times have we gone to church out of habit?  Not cause we want to, but just cause we’re supposed to?  Or maybe we’ve done our devotionals just because it’s a certain time of day.  Or said a routine prayer before eating a meal?

Or maybe said “Hi” to that weird person at church not because you are showing love, but because you somehow feel obligated to despite the fear that they’re going to drone on about how blessed they were when they watched that Kirk Cameron fireman movie.

Anytime we ‘do’ what’s right, but our heart isn’t in it – isn’t faith.

It’s a matter of our heart.

So think of it this way…

Knowing God’s Word is like our head. Believing God’s Word is our heart. Applying/Doing God’s Word is our hands.

Our heart has to be in it if it is to be faith at all.

MT 23:23 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices–mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law–justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. [24] You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

MT 23:25 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. [26] Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

MT 23:27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. [28] In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

Take Time To Pray: Pray for your heart to be right when trying to do God’s Will.

Sometimes we have something, but because we’re missing one crucial piece then, we have nothing.  Like hopping in your car, and you’re missing the key.  Or being at the grocery store line but missing your wallet.  Or having a job interview but missing your pants.

It’s the same thing with faith.  When you’re missing one part, you have nothing.

I previously defined faith in this equation because I’m a nerd…

Knowing God’s Word + Believing God’s Word + Applying God’s Word = Faith

So let’s say I punch you in the face because you said something like you love Pirates of the Carribean 2 & 3, which are absolutely horrible movies.  The Bible says you should ‘turn the other cheek’.  You know that, and you believe it, but you don’t do it, and try to punch me back.  You are not acting in faith.  (Neither am I, but at least I’m right).

So missing one piece of the equation isn’t faith.

But you can miss more than the “Applying God’s Word” element.

What if you’re missing the first part, “Knowing God’s Word”?

Now this is also a huge problem, and it happens all the time and we all do it.

If you don’t base your faith in God’s Word, then who’s word are you basing it in?

Yours, the world or Satan’s.   Let’s just lump that all under ‘temptation’.

The problem is if you think that you’re basing it God’s Word, but really aren’t, and you sincerely believe it and act on it, you’ll be sinning while calling it faith (or God’s will) the whole time.

An obvious example is when you see Christians yelling at a group they see as sinners.  You know these Christians are sincere, because the Bible says certain things are wrong, but then they don’t base their actions on God’s Word (the parts talking about acting in love).

What about all these following questions?  Can you base your actions in Biblical principles?…

How should I discipline my child?  Is it okay for me to watch this R rated movie?  How should I talk to my friend who is in adultery?  What college should I go to?  What friends should I have?  Should I eat this Big Mac?  Should I save money and calories by cooking dinner?

Life is a series of endless questions that we answer – and most of the time we have no Biblical basis for our actions.

That’s living in non-faith.

Just because we’re not actively ‘sinning’ by killing people, stealing or watching Pirates 2 and/or 3, doesn’t mean we’re living in faith.

And if it’s not in faith, it’s sin.

So now what?

Since life is lived with a million decisions every day, we need to have God’s Word with us at all times, in our hearts.  That only comes with a devotion to His Word.

Study and be familiar with major verses and principles.  Yeah, you might not be able to recite a verse word for word when you get in a car accident or when your kid talks back to you, but hopefully you can at least paraphrase it to yourself as you are coming up with your response.

So, be devoted to God’s Word through personal study so that you can recall His Word in any situation.

And to help you think of some verses on a daily basis, might I suggest a certain amazing online devotional written by one the cutest theologians of all time .

Note: I’m talking about me.

Psalm 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

Romans 14:23 Everything that does not come from faith is sin.

Take Time To Pray: Ask God for the motivation to be dedicated to His Word so you can base your faith in it.

P.S.  A couple helpful verses that come in handy in most situations are Romans 8:28, Gal 5:22-23, James 1:2-5, 1 Cor 13:4-7.

There’s this fallacy that some believe where the less you know about something means the more faith you can have in it. Like it takes more faith that you’ll enjoy a movie you’ve never heard of, or that you’ll enjoy meat from Taco Bell.

The thinking is… the less you know, then the more faith you can have.

But it’s actually the opposite.

Look at it this way, if you have two identical looking cars in front of you, one is your reliable car and one you’ve never seen before and someone asked you to pick one of the two cars to go on a thousand mile drive.  Which one would you have more faith in?

You would put your faith in the car that has proven itself to you.

It’s the same thing with God.  He’s reliable if we have faith in Him or not, but as humans, our faith in God grows the more He proves Himself in our lives.

To explain this in real terms, let’s look at the equation of faith from Part 1 of ‘How Do I Live By Faith’…

Faith = Knowing God’s Word + Believing God’s Word + Doing God’s Word.

…and pretend you’re dealing with a difficult time and you read God’s Word in James 1:2 (which ultimately says, ‘Count it all joy when you face trials cause it grows your faith’).

You know what God’s Word says, and believe God’s Word that says your faith grows through trials, but can you do God’s Word?  Can you “count it all joy”?

Don’t you think you might be able to “count it all joy” more if you can point to past instances in your life where God brought you through difficult times?

Just as the reliable car, where you have faith in the car because it’s started for ten days in a row, you will have more faith in God and His Word the more you can point to all the previous times He’s proven Himself.

And that’s the trick, you have to remember and appreciate all the times God was faithful to you.  If you don’t, that’s like completely forgetting that your car has started for 10 days in a row, leaving you wondering if your car will start or not.

God has us go through sufferings to grow our faith.  But if we get through the suffering without acknowledging His faithfulness – then that means we just went through the suffering for nothing.

So what’s the bottom line in all of this?

Having more faith isn’t knowing less about something, it’s about knowing more about something’s reliability, about something’s faithfulness.

And in the case with faith in God, growth in your faith is a matter of acknowledging His past, present and continuing faithfulness.

The more you see His faithfulness… the more you can appreciate His faithfulness… and the more faith you can have in Him.

JAS 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, [3] because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. [4] Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Take Time To Pray: Praise God for His faithfulness.  List all the areas where God is faithful that we take for granted.