“Who’s Feet Do I Want to Wash?” is probably a question we don’t ask a whole lot.  It kind of ranks up there with “Which of my eyes do I want to poke with this stick?” or “Which Sheryl Crow song should I listen to?”

But in fact, Christ tells us to wash other peoples’ feet… in a way.

John 13 [14] Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. [15] I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. [16] I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.

Now we’re not talking that to follow Christ’s example that you have to take out a bucket when people come visit and have them sit on your couch and literally wash their feet. 

That’s not what the passage is saying.  Thankfully.  Especially if I went to your house.  I hate doing laundry so much that I end up wearing socks multiple times.

Anyways, in Biblical times it was customary for the lowest person of the household to do the washing of others’ feet since everyone wore sandals.

So Christ who is the God of the universe, takes the lowliest position's job.  And if the God of the universe can do it – how much more should we be able to do it for humans who are on the same level as us?

Or are we above God?  Is something He personally has done beneath us?  Can we not stoop so low to something that God Himself has done?

Okay, so now what?  How do I follow Christ’s example?

Ask yourself, what is the lowliest job in my family?  Is it taking out the trash?  Cleaning up the dog’s poop?  Doing the dishes? 

What is the lowliest position to take with others?  Do I let them call shotgun?  Do I make sure everyone gets more food than I do?  Do I let them pick where they want to eat?

Just think of yourself as the least important person there.  Pretend you’re the keyboardist in a band.  Or pretend you’re the plot in a Michael Bay movie.

In that way, you humble yourself enough to minister in ways you would have never stooped to before.

You have to get your hands dirty with ministry.  There is no room for pride when you have a Christ-like love for others.

If Christ is willing to get His hands dirty for us, then we should have no problems getting our hands dirty for Him.

Start with your family.  Do the worst chores out of love and humility.  Then move on to your school, place of work and church.

And at my house, we do follow the foot washing passage literally.  But just let me know right before you get to my house so I can let my wife answer the door.

    MK 9:35 Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."

Take Time To Pray:  Ask God for the humility needed to do the lowliest of tasks.

You ever have to face a situation where you might have to hurt someone’s feelings, but it’s something that you have to do?  And I’m not talking about telling someone to keep their six year old child quiet during The Expendables.  Or telling them that they are insane for even bringing a six year old to see an ultraviolent film where there’s about a thousand people killed on screen.

I’m talking about touchy situations where a family member or friend might get offended because you might have to point out one of their faults.

So what is the difference between talking to that crazy parent with their six year old at The Expendables movie verses talking to your family member?

It’s motive.  One case, you’re correcting someone out of frustration, disbelief or horror, and the other one is out of love.

Your entire approach changes when you say something out of love.

But love isn’t enough.  It goes a little beyond your righteous motives.  The other person has to understand that you’re doing it out of love.

You might think you’re speaking out of love, but what if they interpret your words as condescending? 

Some people are sensitive.  Others have pride.  It’s easy to step on those, even when your intentions are completely out of love.

So what else do you need other than love?

You need wisdom.

Wisdom will tell you that it’s not just what you’re trying to say, but how you are saying it, when you say it, and how it’s coming across.

Maybe you need to wait till they calm down, or speak to them in private and the kids aren’t around.  Maybe you should share about how you made a similar mistake. 

So when you have to face a delicate situation like this pray for three things, a loving spirit, wisdom and that God would work in their heart.

Then maybe they won’t get so offended when you tell them that they stink like feet.

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2

Take Time To Pray: Ask God to help you with love and wisdom.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Love

One of the worst things to happen in a relationship is when it comes to an end.   Either that or if they ask you to go clothes shopping with them.  Not sure which one is worse.  In one case you want to cry yourself to sleep.  In the other case you want to stab yourself with forks.

Now this most commonly will refer to a romantic relationship that ends, but can apply to all sorts of other situations where a relationship drastically changes for the worse.

There’s a huge amount of things you have to deal with emotionally – but we always have to remember that dealing with your emotions starts with dealing with it spiritually.  How can you come to grips emotionally when you don’t know why it happened?

The first thing you have to get is that God is sovereign.  He is in control.  He allowed it to happen for a reason.  And that reason is good.

    RO 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

You won’t truly know the reasons why it happened till maybe years down the road, maybe never.  But that promise is still there.  And you’d think that the God who created this universe can do something as simple as make a break up, divorce, or whatever, turn out for good. 

Gimmie a break, Christ went through torture, humiliation, crucifixion and death.  I’m pretty sure He understands going through something bad for a reason that is good.  I’ve been through a lot of terrible things in life, including being forced into going into a Banana Republic, but I don’t recall being crucified and dying.

The second thing is that we also have to understand that a relationship with a person is not what brings us ultimate happiness.  That obviously comes from our relationship with God.  He created our souls to find its complete happiness and peace in a relationship with Him.  It’s in our design. 

The happiness we find in a human relationship should be added blessings to the 100% happiness and peace that we should be already finding in God.

The third thing is that God is always growing us, including through a breakup.  Was there anything you did wrong (even if it wasn’t mainly your fault)?  Was your relationship based in?  In God? 

What character traits did you have that need to be corrected so that this doesn’t affect your current relationships with family, friends and the next romantic relationship you’ll have?  It’s not like we have certain character traits with one person, but not everyone else.

Let’s face it.  We all suck.  We all don’t handle relationships as well as we should.  But we can lessen the negatives we bring to a relationship.  And we can always increase the positives we bring to one.

Having a spirit of humility will understand that we still have growth to do… in all our relationships.

And if you understand that, all your relationships will get better – including the most important relationship – your relationship with God.  Then maybe, just maybe, going clothes shopping won’t end up with one of you needing therapy.

   JAS 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, [3] because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. [4] Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Take Time To Pray: Ask God to help you to analyze yourself for areas of your life you need to work on so that your relationships with other and Him will improve.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Faithfulness.

Have you ever gotten so sick of someone close to you that you just wanted to call it quits?  Now I’m not talking about getting sick of your proctologist.  I’m talking someone close in a different way, in a relationship way.

We see siblings who never talk to each other, kids who won’t talk to their parents and of course plenty of divorces even amongst Christians.

And what’s the source of that? 

First off it starts with the people that we have relationships with are sinful.  They are selfish, prideful, lazy, only think of themselves, and endlessly watch the Home and Garden Network.

But the thing that completes this is that (sorry to break this to you), but we are sinful as well - making the situation worse.

Instead of helping someone trying to deal with their selfishness, we get mad at them.  Instead of trying to minister to them about their laziness, we yell at them.  Instead of trying to show grace to their crazy views on theology, politics or philosophy, we get into arguments with them – even on Facebook for all to see (or if you hate yourself, on Myspace).

We make things worse. 

What if Christ responded in the same way we do?

We sin against God every day.  Every hour.  And probably ever minute.  We spit in His face anytime we sin. 

But God, instead of responding as we do, displays different attributes…

Faithfulness, patience, forgiveness, grace, mercy.  The list goes on and on.

When we finally had it with someone it’s because we’ve had a long history of being impatient, ungracious and unforgiving.

When someone talks about you, do they say, “Boy, they are just so faithful, gracious, merciful and forgiving?”  Is that your reputation around your family, town and church?

Have you had it with your spouse, parents, sibling, friend, co-worker because of their sins?  Then start today to change yourself and model your life after Christ.

Treat those who sin against you in the same way God treats you and your sins – with an unconditional love and endless faithfulness.  Gain a reputation for faithfulness and grace.

And over time, you treating them in a Christ-like way will minister to them and their sins, and they will sin less against you, and you less against them.  And God will be glorified in it all.

MT 18:21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

    MT 18:22 Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Take Time To Pray: Ask God you help you to become a person who displays faithfulness, love and grace.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Faithfulness.

This series has been on relationships because a lot of times we overlook the people closest to us.  Kinda like how you might spend your time going to store to buy bacon just to find out you had some in your pocket the whole time.

Previously I talked about we’re supposed to help others manage their roles and callings.  This goes double if you’re in some sort of authority over them, say like in a family setting.

But here’s the thing with that.  Being a leader or manager isn’t like being the king where you sit on your throne and hand out orders.  You there, start having patience with your homework.  You there, read your Bible everyday.  You there, learn patience by watching the Star Wars prequels. 

That’s how the world looks at leadership.

The world sees leadership like a triangle, with the leader on top, and everyone underneath.  And on a relationship level, that’s maybe how we might see the dad of a family. 

But is that triangle model really how God wants things?   What does Christ have to say about leadership?

This passage here is right after Christ had finished washing the disciples’ feet. 

    JN 13: [14] Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. [15] I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. [16] I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.

This is pretty much also said here…

    LK 9: [48] For he who is least among you all--he is the greatest."

What Christ is talking about is a concept of Servant-Leadership.  And that’s how we need to see ourselves in our relationships.

We need to take that triangle model and flip it upside down.  Where we are on the bottom tip, and the people we are have relationships are above us.

Christ is essentially saying, the greatest among you have more people above them in the upside down triangle.

Don’t think of yourself as the one throwing a leash around others’ necks and dragging them down the road closer to Christ…

…but rather think of yourself as the servant, who on the road, must move obstacles out of the way, give the person water, give them encouragement when they get tired, and help navigate.

So today, stop and think about how can you influence your spouse, kids, family, friends through servanthood.

And just to be clear, servanthood does not include getting up to kill a spider when you’re in the middle of playing a game of Sudoku on your phone, while there are two totally capable teenagers laying around texting  who could get a piece of tissue paper just as well as you can to smush and flush that thing.

    JN 13:12 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. [13] "You call me `Teacher' and `Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. [14] Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. [15] I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. [16] I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. [17] Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

Take Time To Pray: Ask God to help you understand how to be a servant and be influential at the same time.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Gentleness.

In the last devotional I talked about the importance of finding your role in your relationships. I also talked about bacon.  Now I will expand on how to understand your role.  Your role in relationships.  Not your role with bacon.   That would make an awesome devotional though.

So we left off with, “What callings has He given your spouse, your kids, your friends?  What is your role in helping them?”

That’s a really big, squishy question to ask, so we need to figure out how to practically answer that question.

Pretend you’re a pastor, and you have a congregation of one-thousand.

Would you also have time to vacuum all the rooms?  To clean the toilets, to take out the trash?  To do the accounting for all the offerings, make deposits, account for payroll and taxes?  To take care of the website and all the IT?

 There’s no way.  Many people must play a part.  If people don’t understand their role, that church suffers.

Now let’s take that example and plop it right down on a relationship we all have – our family.

Let’s say mom traditionally prepares meals (because my idea of preparing dinner is serving Cheetos) but now mom is called by God to go back to college… roles will change. 

And for the family to properly support mom in her calling, someone will have to fill that newly created void (preferably not me).

Helping someone in their callings often involves the mundane.  Ministry isn't just huge things like feeding the poor, evangelism, and missions. 

How can you know your role, unless you know their role?

What are roles should your kids have?  What role should your spouse have?  And what do you do to make sure they can fulfill their roles?

What are the everyday things you need to have in place so that they can accomplish these callings on a daily basis?

What needs to get done?  What chores need to be delegated to the kids?  What are the problems that arise that need to be resolved?

And you know what all this really is? 

Management.

You are a manager.

Just like how any successful church, ministry, business, sports team’s success is based on management, so is a family.  So is a marriage.

What are our goals?   What problems need to be solved?  What are our strengths and weaknesses?  What are our opportunities and threats?  Who does what?  How do we function best as a team?  It’s all management.

It’s like a little mini-Body-of-Christ.

So what is your spouse’s role?  What are your kids’ roles?  And what is your role?  And how do you manage it all? 

Those are the questions we all need to answer for ourselves for us to have Godly relationships.

That along with what should we have for dinner to tonight?  Hershey chocolate bars or Cool Ranch Doritos?

MT 24:45 "Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time? [46] It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns.

[47] I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions. [48] But suppose that servant is wicked and says to himself, `My master is staying away a long time,' [49] and he then begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards. [50] The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. [51] He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

1 Peter 4:10 As each has received a gift, employ it in serving one another, as good managers of the grace of God in its various forms.

Take Time To Pray: Ask God for wisdom to understand others’ roles so you can understand yours in relation to theirs.

Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Faithfulness.

If we are to have good relationships, we need to first understand the purpose of them.  It would be like trying to try to understand how to have good bacon, without understanding its purpose. 

It is used for clothing?  For hair styling?  For skin care?  As an antiperspirant?  Or as food?   Or as well all know, as all of the above.

Like bacon, you have to know the purpose of your relationship.  If you’re going to use bacon for hair styling, you’ll cook it totally differently than if you were going to eat it.

With your spouse, kids, whoever, you will ‘cook’ your relationship totally differently when you have a different purpose in mind.

Is the purpose of the relationship there to make you happy?  Is it there to make them happy?  For what ultimate purpose are you raising your kids?  Why are you friends with a certain person? 

So to understand the purpose of relationships, let’s go to the very first human relationship.

    GE 2:18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

A helper for what?

God had given Adam a calling.  And he needed help with that God-given calling.  Another person was created to have a relationship with him to help with that God-given calling.

It doesn’t say, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make someone to make him happy and to rub his feet."

The purpose was God focused – to help Adam fulfill the tasks God had assigned to him. 

So now think about, what callings has God given you?  What is your spouse supposed to help out with?

What callings has He given your spouse, your kids, your friends?  What is your role in helping them?

God has given all of us a number of callings at one time, but also a number of relationships to help with those callings and also a number of relationships for us to go out and help.

Take a look at your spouse, kids, other family and ask youself, “What purpose has God given them?”  “How should I mold my relationship with them to help them fulfill that purpose?”

And my purpose right now is to eat some bacon.  So I’m going to ask my spouse to help me with my calling of eating that bacon – right after she’s done combing her hair with it.

    1CO 12:14 Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. [15] If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. [16] And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body.

[17] If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? [18] But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. [19] If they were all one part, where would the body be? [20] As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

    1CO 12:21 The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!"

Take Time To Pray: Ask God to help you understand your callings and the callings of those you have relationships with so you can properly minister to them.

Today’s fruit of the spirit: Faithfulness.

(Special thanks to reader Jessica Wesseling for sending in that awesome photo.)